1.Brianstorm
Brian,
Top marks for not tryin'
So kind of you to bless us with your effortlessness
We're grateful and so strangely comforted
And I wonder are you puttin' us under
Cause we can't take our eyes off the t-shirt
and ties combination
Well see you later, innovator
Some want to kiss some want to kick you
There's not a net you couldn't slip through
Or at least that's the impression I get
cause you're smooth and you're wet
And she's not aware yet but she's yours
She'll be sayin' use me
Show me the jacuzzi
I imagine that it's there on a plate
Your rendezvous rate means that
you'll never be frightened
to make them wait for a while
I doubt it's your style not to get
what you set out to acquire
The eyes are on fire
You are the unforecasted storm
(Brian)Calm, collected, and commandin'
(Top marks for not tryin')
You made the other stories standin'
With your renditions and jokes
Bet there's hundreds of blokes that have wept
cause you've stolen their ...thunder
Are you puttin' us under
Cause we can't take our eyes off the t-shirt
and ties combination
Well see you later, innovator
2.Teddy Picker
Despair to the point till they provoke
The punchline before they have told the joke
The sheer desperation to be scene／seen
Staring at the television screen
Despair to the point where they provoke
You to tell the fucking punchline
before you have told the joke
Sorry sunshine it doesn't exist
It wasn't in the top 100 list
And it's the thousandth time and it's even bolder,
Don't be surprised when you get bent over,
He told ya, that you were gagging for it
She saw it and she grabbed it
and it wasn't what it seemed
The kids all dream of making it, whatever that means
Another variation on a theme
A tangle on the television and the magazine
D'you reckon that they do it for a joke？
D'you reckon that they make 'em take an oath？
That says 'we are defenders
Of any poseur or professional pretender around'
When did your list replace the twist and turn？
Ah the fist, replaced the kissed-on concern
And if you're bothered, I don't want your prayers
Save it for the morning after
And it's the thousandth time and it's even bolder,
Don't be surprised when you get bent over,
He told ya, that you were gagging for it
Lets have a game on the Teddy Picker
Not quick enough can I have it quicker？
Already thick and you're getting thicker
Lets have a game on the Teddy Picker
Not quick enough can I have it quicker？
Already thick and you're getting thicker
Asuming that all things are equal,
Who'd want to be men of the people
When there's people like you？
3.D Is For Dangerous
He knew what he wanted to say
But he did not want to word it
The dirty little Herbert
Was thinking an escape
But the place was well guarded
The guiltyness that started
Soon as the other part had stopped
D is for Delightful
And try and keep your trousers on
I think you should know
you're his favourite worst nightmare
D is for...
Desperately trying to stimulate
what it was that was alright
3 quarters of an hour ago
That had led him to be in a position
And every compromission
Another freak episode
He's nearing the brink but he thinks first
The parallel universe perhaps could be the perfect scene
He's nearing the brink but he thinks first
The parallel universe perhaps could be the perfect scene
He's nearing the brink but he thinks first
The parallel universe perhaps could be the perfect scene
He's nearing the brink but he thinks first
The parallel
I think you should know
you're his favourite worst nightmare
D is for delightful
and try and keep your trousers on
you should know you're his favourite worst nightmare
4.Balaclava
Running off over next doors garden
Before the hour is done
It's more a question of feeling
Than it is a question of fun
The confidence is the balaclava
I'm sure youll baffle em good
With the ending wreek of salty cheeks
And runny makeup alone
Ooohh will blood run down the face
Of a boy bewildered and scorned
And you'll find yourself in a skirmish
And you wish you'd never been born
And you tie yourself to the tracks
And there isn't no going back
And it's wrong wrong wrong
But well do it anyway
cause we love a bit of trouble
Are you pulling her from a burning building
Or throwing her to the sharks
Can only hope the ending is a pleasurable as the start
The confidence is the balaclava,
I'm sure you baffle em straight
And it's wrong wrong wrong, she can hardly wait
That's right, he won't let her out his sight
Now the shaggers perform
And the daggers are drawn
Whos the crooks in this crime？
Thats right, he wont let her out his sight
How the shaggers perform
And the daggers are drawn
Whos the crooks is this....
Crime!
That's right, he won't let her out his sight
That's right, he won't let her out his sight
That's right, he won't let her out his sight
You'll be able to post any day of the most
For the sights of all time
You knew that he'd be trouble
right before the very first kiss
Quiet and assuming
But you heard that they were the naughtiest
She pleaded with you to take it off
But you resisted and fought
'I'm sorry sweetheart, about trouble
Keep on the balaclava'.
5.Fluorescent Adolescent
You used to get it in your fishnets
Now you only get it in your night dress
Discarded all the naughty nights for niceness
Landed in a very common crisis
Everything's in order in a black hole
Nothing seems as pretty as the past, though
That Bloody Mary's lacking in Tabasco
Remember when he used to be a rascal？
Oh, the boy's a slag
The best you ever had
The best you ever had
Is just a memory and those dreams
Weren't as daft as they seem
Not as daft as they seem, my love
When you dream them up
Flicking through a little book of sex tips
Remember when the boys were all electric？
Now when she tells she's gonna get it
I'm guessing that she'd rather just forget it
Clinging to not getting sentimental
Said she wasn't going, but she went still
Likes her gentlemen to not be gentle
Was it a megadobber or a betting pencil？
Oh, the boy's a slag
The best you ever had
The best you ever had
Is just a memory and those dreams
Weren't as daft as they seem
Not as daft as they seem, my love
When you dream them up, oh...
Where did you go？
Where did you go？
Where did you go？
Ohh oh...
Falling about
You took a left off Last Laugh Lane
You just sounded it out
You're not coming back again
Falling about
You took a left off Last Laugh Lane
You just sounded it out
You're not coming back again
You used to get it in your fishnets
Now you only get it in your night dress
Discarded all the naughty nights for niceness
Landed in a very common crisis
Everything's in order in a black hole
Nothing seems as pretty as the past, though
That Bloody Mary's lacking in Tabasco
Remember when he used to be a rascal？
6.Only Ones Who Know
In a foreign place, the saving grace was the feeling
That it was her heart that he was stealing
He was ready to impress
And the fierce excitement, the eyes are bright
He couldn't wait to get away
And I bet that Juliet was just the icing on the cake
Make no mistake, no
And even if somehow
he could have shown you the place you wanted
Well I'm sure you could have made it
that bit better on your own
And I bet she told a million people
that she'd stay in touch
But all the little promises that don't mean much
When there's memories to be made
And I hope you're holding hands by New Year's Eve
They made it far too easy to believe
That true romance can't be achieved these days
And even if somehow
they could have shown you the place you wanted
Well I'm sure you could have made it
that bit better on your own
You are the only ones who know.
7.Do Me A Favour
Well the morning was complete
And there was tears on the steering wheel,
dripping on the seat
Several hours or several weeks
I have the cheek to say they're equally as bleak
It's the beginning of the end
The car went up the hill
and disappeared around the bend
Ask anyone, they'll tell you that
it's these times that it tends
To start to break in half
To start to fall apart
Hold on to your heart
Do me a favour and break my nose
Do me a favour and tell me to go away
Do me a favour and stop asking questions
And she walked away while her shoes were untied
And the eyes were all red,
you could see that we'd cried
And I watched and I waited 'til she was inside
Forcing a smile and waving goodbye
Curiosity becomes a heavy load
Too heavy to hold
Too heavy to hold
Curiosity becomes a heavy load
Too heavy to hold
Will force you to be cold
Do me a favour and ask if you need some help
She said 'Do me a favour and stop flattering yourself'
And to tear apart the ties that bind
Perhaps 'fuck off' might be too kind
Perhaps 'fuck off' might be too kind
8.This House Is a Circus
This house is a circus, berserk as fuck
We tend to see that as a perk though, look
What it's done to your friends
Their memories are pretend
And the last thing that they want
is for the feeling to end
This house is a circus, berserk as fuck
We tend to see that as a perk though, look
What it's done to your friends
Their memories are pretend
And the last thing that they want
is for the feeling to end
There's a room full of trouble
and there's lovers to be had
Those walls...sinners ...are such lovely lads
Scaling the corridors for maidens in the maze
And the anomaly is slipping into familiar ways
And we're...
Forever unfulfilled
And can't think why
Like a search for murder clues
In dead men's eyes
Forever unfulfilled
And can't think why
Like a search for murder clues
In dead men's eyes
The more you open your mouth,
the more you're forcing performance
And all the attention is leading me to feel important
(Completely obnoxious, completely obnoxious)
Now that we're here, we may as well go too far
Wringling around in incidents you won't forget
And there's certainly some venom
in the looks that you collect
Aimlessly gazing at the blazers in the queue
And we're struggling with the notion
that it's life, not film
This house is a circus, berserk as fuck
We tend to see that as a perk though, look
What it's done to your friends
Their memories are pretend
And the last thing that they want
is for the feeling to end.
9.If You Were There, Beware
If you were there, beware,
the serpent soul pinches
Three hundred and fifty no-thank-you's and nobody flinches
Go on, girl, go on, give us something gruesome
We require your grief for thugs and the thiefs
As they're trying to rob the words from her gob
And take the source of the innocence
And if you were there, beware,
the serpent soul pinches
You can't, you said she was never
meant to fill column inches
And you had enough, what you're trying to dig up
Isn't there to be dug, the thiefs and the thugs
As they're trying to be digger graves of her sweetheart
And to the point, she'll comply
And why leave her on her own？
If I'd have known, then I wouldn't have said it
I wouldn't have said it if I would have known
Why leave her on her own？
If I predicted tears, then I wouldn't have said it
I wouldn't have said it if I would had known
Ahh ahh ahh...
There's a circle of witches,
ambitiously vicious they are
And our attempts to remind them of reason
won't get us that far
And I don't know what it is that they want
I don't know what it is that they want
But I haven't got it to give
She hasn't got it to give.
10.The Bad Thing
Do the bad thing
Take off your wedding ring
But it won't make it that much easier
It might make it worse
The night's like a whirlwind
Somebody's girlfriend is talking to me
But it's alright, she's saying
That he's not gonna slap me
Or try to attack me
He's not the jealous type
And I only need to get half an excuse and I'm away
But when there's no excuses
that's much easier to say
I've been before
And all these capers makers to the floor
Then to ignore
She's talking but I'm not entirely sure
Do the bad thing
Take off your wedding ring
But it won't make it that much easier
It might make it worse
Oh im stood at the bar
Somebody's partner is talking to me
But I don't that is what she isn't
She murmurs things to confirm the tragedy is true
And I knew how could she not
she could have anyone she wants
And I'm struggling to think of an immediate response
Like I don't mind
Be a big mistake for you to wait
And help me waste your time
Really, love, it's fine
Really, love, it's fine
And the first time,
it occurred that there was something to destroy
I knew before the invitation that there was this ploy
Oh, but she carried on suggesting,
I struggled to refuse
She said 'It's the red wine this time',
but that is no excuse.
11.Old Yellow Bricks
Old yellow bricks, love's a risk
Quite the little escapologist
Love's some myth when you wish
For a thousand places better than this
You are the fugitive,
but you don't know what you're running from
You can't kid us and you couldn't trick anyone
Houdini, look,
you don't know what you're running away from
He wants to sleep in a city that never wakes up
Blinded by nostalgia
He wants to sleep in a city that never wakes up
She was enraged by the way
That the emperors were trapped in the cage
And the days she'd deemed dull
The empty nights reading beer bottles
You're such a fugitive,
but you don't know what you're running from
You can't kid us, and you couldn't trick anyone
Houdini, look,
you don't know what you're running away from
He wants to sleep in a city that never wakes up
Blinded by nostalgia
He wants to sleep in a city that never wakes up
Yeah it's a loss, just because
It wasn't all that you thought it was
You are the fugitive,
but you don't know what you're running away from
She said, 'I want to sleep in a city that never wakes up
And revel in nostalgia'
'I know', I said,
'He wants to sleep in a city that never wakes up, but...
Dorothy was right, though.'
12.505
I'm going back to 505
If it's a 7-hour flight or a 45-minute drive
In my imagination, you're waiting,
lying on your side
With your hands between your thighs
Stop and wait a sec
Oh, when you look at me like that,
my darling, what did you expect？
I'd probably still adore you
with your hands around my neck
Or I did last time I checked
Not shy of a spark
A knife twists at the thought
that I should fall short of the mark
Frightened by the bite,
no, it's no harsher than the bark
The middle of adventure,
such a perfect place to start
I'm going back to 505
If it's a 7-hour flight or a 45-minute drive
In my imagination, you're waiting,
lying on your side
With your hands between your thighs
But I crumble completely when you cry
It seems like once again
you've had to greet me with goodbye
I'm always just about to go and spoil the surprise
Take my hands off of your eyes too soon
Well, I'm going back to 505
If it's a 7-hour flight or a 45-minute drive
In my imagination, you're waiting,
lying on your side
With your hands between your thighs
And a smile.
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